Friday, August 29, 2025

the dark trees, blessedly neutral

 

Lynch Park - Beverly


"Tree - Lynch Park"
Nikon D800
Lensbaby - Double Glass Optic




So, now I shall talk every night. To myself. To the moon. I shall walk, as I did tonight, jealous of my loneliness, in the blue-silver of the cold moon, shining brilliantly on the drifts of fresh-fallen snow, with the myriad sparkles. I talk to myself and look at the dark trees, blessedly neutral. So much easier than facing people, than having to look happy, invulnerable, clever. With masks down, I walk, talking to the moon, to the neutral impersonal force that does not hear, but merely accepts my being. And does not smite me down."

~ Sylvia Plath ~

Via: Alive On All Channels




~



Sunday, August 24, 2025

The Impotent Blue Blob

 

Froth



"The Impotent Blue Blob"
"How Did That Genocide Support Work Out For You?"
"How Did Supporting a Doddering Old Fool Work Out For You?"
"How Did Voting For Genitals and Skin Color Work Out For You?"
"You Are Nothing More Than Glorified Collaborators"
 

Nikon D7200
Nikkor 10mm-24mm Lens

Photomator
iColorama
Stackables
Brushstroke Pro


"We now stand in the middle of a raging crisis the party has helped create through its complicity, corruption, and disastrous decisions. Every single day we see new evidence that party leadership cannot meet this moment. They failed to win power and they now fail to supply actual resistance. The numbers make it clear. The party has a 33% favorable rating and are enjoying historically low approval. Honestly, I’d say they’ve earned that and more.

I get asked a lot where I think the Democratic Party needs to go. And I wanted to expand on that, but also make it clear that I don’t see this as purely a political question. What the party does now will affect the rest of our lives. If the Democrats continue down this present path, it will enable further fascism and suffering. And, it needs said, that if the status quo of the party wins out, and if they continue warring with their supporters and the vast majority of Americans, we’ll need to look elsewhere for representation."





~




Tuesday, August 19, 2025

Monday, August 18, 2025

The Littlest Bestie

 

JackJack



"JackJack"
Canon G7x Mark II
Lightroom



He loves to sing along to John Denver's "Country Roads." He loves to share my lunch - even the dill pickle mustard rollup... He loves to dance in my office. He loves to play catch. He loves his big brother's baseball glove. He loves his dog Pearly, often laying down with his head on her belly.. He loves to count the cuts and bruises on my arms and legs - "Boo Boo. Boo Boo."  He loves to ask me what things are - even if he already knows what they are.  He loves to use me like a jungle gym. He loves his older siblings. He thinks DaDa is the funniest thing ever. He asks to be tickled every once in a while "Tickle! Tickle! Tickle!"  When the shit hits the fan in a major way - Mama is the only person on the planet for him.




~




Color

 

Breakfast Table



"Zoey's Breakfast Tablescape"

Canon G7x Mark II
Lightroom



~





Monday, August 4, 2025

2025:08:03-13:59:34

 

Rocky Neck 


"Rocky Neck - Gloucester MA"

 Canon G7x Mark II
Lightroom
Waterlogue
Brushstroke Pro
Snapseed



 

~

 

 

 


Body Issues

 

Self Portrait 
 
 
"Witnessing the Unraveling & Cancelling The Noise"

Canon G7x Mark
Lightroom



Checking in on body issues - Fatness and Baldness.. 
 
On the topic of the challenge of keeping weight off after reduction - published in the journal Nature:
 

Abstract:
 
Reducing body weight to improve metabolic health and related comorbidities is a primary goal in treating obesity1,2. However, maintaining weight loss is a considerable challenge, especially as the body seems to retain an obesogenic memory that defends against body weight changes3,4. Overcoming this barrier for long-term treatment success is difficult because the molecular mechanisms underpinning this phenomenon remain largely unknown. Here, by using single-nucleus RNA sequencing, we show that both human and mouse adipose tissues retain cellular transcriptional changes after appreciable weight loss. Furthermore, we find persistent obesity-induced alterations in the epigenome of mouse adipocytes that negatively affect their function and response to metabolic stimuli. Mice carrying this obesogenic memory show accelerated rebound weight gain, and the epigenetic memory can explain future transcriptional deregulation in adipocytes in response to further high-fat diet feeding. In summary, our findings indicate the existence of an obesogenic memory, largely on the basis of stable epigenetic changes, in mouse adipocytes and probably other cell types. These changes seem to prime cells for pathological responses in an obesogenic environment, contributing to the problematic ‘yo-yo’ effect often seen with dieting. Targeting these changes in the future could improve long-term weight management and health outcomes. 
 

All you Slenders out there - do you fucking understand that?  
 
The body seems to retain an obesogenic memory that defends against body weight changes.  So - people yo-yo'ing their body mass is not, as you all would have us believe - a failure of will power / moral fiber / lack of understanding about the perils of obesity.. It is a result of the body fighting weight changes at a MOLECULAR LEVEL. 
 
You fucking self-righteous twits... 
 
That's why every day for me is a motherfucking struggle to not overeat.. Every motherfucking day.. Humiliating. Humbling. Enraging.. Exhausting.. 
 
On the topic of baldness - this story in WaPo
 
"Amid photos of balding scalps and eager gossip about new remedies on a Reddit thread about hair loss, you’ll often find cries of distress.

“I don’t feel at peace, ever. My nervous system is constantly in fight or flight,” read one in response to a question last year about the “absolute worst part about balding.”

The site, on which all of the pictured scalps are male, highlights an age-old phenomenon. While women may also lose hair, men do so in greater numbers, earlier and, on average, more obviously.

What’s different today, say experts, is that male anguish about it has never been more evident. Social media, dating apps, “Zoom dysphoria” and a sometimes-predatory marketplace are stoking the anxiety.

“I’m seeing more of a visible mental breakdown all over social media,” says Spencer Kobren, founder of the American Hair Loss Association, a national nonprofit dedicated to educating the public about “the emotionally devastating disease of hair loss.” “These are desperate, angry guys."
 
I'm a long time baldy. At the age of 14, I was told by my barber that I would lose my hair.. Sure enough, he was right. By the time I was in my late 40's I had lost enough so that I just said "FuckIt" and shaved the whole dome. 
 
I never looked back. I never felt "Insecure" or "Emotionally devastated" by the "disease" of baldness. 
 
Maybe because I'm a Bood
 
Maybe it's because I'm a contrary prick
 
Maybe it's because I've turned my back on all the judgement I've received over my lifetime about my appearance.. Hair too long, beard too long, clothes too shabby etc... that baldness was just one more thing.  
 
Fuck em all but six... 
 
I feel deep compassion for men who struggle with baldness. It breaks my heart to see people spend so much dough and emotional energy over something so benign as hair falling out.. 
 
 
~
 
 
 
 
 

Saturday, August 2, 2025

Not for fun...

 

Buddha 


"Buddha"
Nikon D800
Nikkor 105.0 mm Macro Lens
Lightroom


"You should train yourselves like this: ‘We will not eat too much. We will only eat after reflecting rationally on our food. We will eat not for fun, indulgence, adornment, or decoration, but only to sustain this body, to avoid harm, and to support spiritual practice.' "
 

 

 

~

Sunday, July 27, 2025

It's A Genocide, But It's Also So Much More Than That

 

Again and again and again 


"Again and again and again"




"The mass atrocity in Gaza is a genocide, obviously, and is an undisguised ethnic cleansing operation.

But it’s also a lot more than that.

It’s an experiment — to see what kinds of abuses the public will accept without causing significant disruption to the imperial status quo.

It’s a psychological operation — to push out the boundaries of what’s normal and acceptable in our minds so that we will consent to even more horrific abuses in the future.

It’s a symptom — of Zionism, of colonialism, of militarism, of capitalism, of western supremacism, of empire-building, of propaganda, of ignorance, of apathy, of delusion, of ego.

It’s a manifestation — of violent racist, supremacist and xenophobic belief systems that have always been there but were previously restrained, meeting with the unwholesome nature of alliances that have long been in place but have been aggressively normalized.

It’s a mirror — showing us accurately and impartially who we currently are as a civilization.

It’s a disclosure — showing us what the western empire we live under really is underneath its fake plastic mask of liberal democracy and righteous humanitarianism.

It’s a revelation — showing us who among us really stands for truth and justice and who has been deceiving us about themselves and their motives this entire time.

It’s a catalyst — a galvanizing force and a rallying cry for all who realize that the murderous power structures we live under can no longer be allowed to stand, and a blaring alarm clock opening more and more snoozing eyes to the need for revolutionary change.

It’s a test — of who we are as a species and what we are made of, and of whether we can transcend the destructive patterning that is driving humanity to its doom.

It’s a question — asking us what kind of world we want to live in going forward, and what kind of people we want to be.

It’s an invitation — to become something better than what we are now."
 
 
 
~
 
 
 
 

Thursday, July 24, 2025

Summer Kids

 

Summer kids 2025 
 
 
"Summer Kids"
 
Canon G7x Mark II
Lightroom
 
 
 
~
 
 

In Dreams, My Life Looks Like This...

 

 

Rockport 

 

"Dreamscape"

Canon G7x Mark II
Lightroom

 

 

~

 

 

The Avatamsaka Sutra - John Muir - Quantum Entanglement - Science Eventually Catches Up...

 

Indra’s Net 
 
"Indra's (other) Net
 

There is a net of three dimensions, vast and wide stretching in all four directions throughout the universe. At each point that a string meets another point of the net there is a jewel, and this jewel reflects in it all the other jewels of the entire net, and further that reflection too is reflected in all the facets of all the other jewels.

No single part of the net can be independent of the rest; a single movement of the net in one place will affect, in some way, the most distant part of the net or universe. The all is reflected in the one, the one in the all

The Avatamsaka Sutra 
 
The Avatamsaka Sutra, written around 2000BCE, outlines quantum entanglement over 4000 years before  Albert Einstein, Boris Podolsky, Nathan Rosen, and Erwin Schrödinger.
 
In 1911 (also pre-dating Einstein et al), John Muir, a great American naturalist, stated quantum entanglement this way:
 
When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe.
 
 
~
 
 
 
 

Saturday, July 12, 2025

Dr No And The Buddha(s)

 

Dr No And The Buddha(s) 
 
 
 
"Dr No And The Buddha(s)
 
Ipad Pro - Back Camera
Lightroom
 
 

Dr No loves to visit with the Buddha every day - sometimes many times a day. When he wants a visit, he comes to me and says "Om? Om? Om?" ("Om is what I taught him that the Buddha says - I figure it's a bit too early to start prattling on about suffering, impermanence, the Five Remembrances, and the Eightfold Path, etc...)
 
Dr No loves to make the little Buddha sit on the Big Buddha's head. For those of you Boodies out there who are appalled at this, just remember Zen Master Yunmen's declaration - "The Buddha is a dried shit-stick." - and besides - Dr No's interactions with The Buddha come from a place of pure affection. He has no interest in showing off for "The Teacher" or displaying his extensive Dharma knowledge for his classmates.. 
 
Dr No just loves... purely and simply... 
 
Dr No also likes to point out the Buddha's body parts and then locate those same parts on his little body.. 
 
Probably the most endearing thing Dr No does during his daily visits is to put his little toddler forehead against the Buddha's head and coo sweet toddler nothings to him.. 
 
Every couple days, we've been going out into the yard to cut a fresh flower blossom for The Buddha.. I cut it with a pair of kitchen scissors and Dr No toddles back into the Hobbit House with it clutched in his beautiful little hand.. We had to do today's excursion twice because the first time around Dr No got so excited he started happily waving the flower about and the stem broke.. It was a nice lesson in impermanence for Papa though...
 
 
~
 
 
 
Day Lily 
 
 
"Day Lily From Dr No to The Buddha"
 
Canon G7x Mark II
 Lightroom
 
 
 
~
 
 

Friday, July 11, 2025

Enter Doctor No

  

Jack and his eagles 
 
 
"Dr No And His Eagles"

Ipad Pro - Back Camera
Snapseed


Dr No and his entourage of siblings, parents and Dog have come to live with me. To say that life in this tiny Hobbit house has been turned upside down would be an understatement. Vast amounts of kinetic energy, laughter, talking, talking, talking, weeping, stomping around, and death defying climbs up the stairs now abound in this once-quiet, once-sleepy address in The Shire.
 
As for Dr No - his very (very) favorite word is - of course - "NO!" Trying to exert control over his two year-old world, Dr No uses "NO!" to great - and sometimes very humorous -  ends. 
 
For instance - 
 
Me: Good morning Jackie (Dr No's alias is Jack..)
 
Dr No: NO!!
 

Me: [coughing]
 
Dr No: NO!!
 

Me: [looking in his general direction]
 
Dr No: NO!!
 

Me: Jackie - do you want to get down from my lap?
 
Dr No: NO!
 
Me: Well - that's ok - you can sit with me if you want.

Dr No: NO!!
 

Me: Jackie - do you have a poop?

Dr No: NO!!
 
Me: You smell.. I think you have a poop. Let me check.

Dr No: NO!! (And so begins a chase around the Hobbit House to corral the elusive and agile Dr NO so that I can check his diaper [he did have a poop])
 
Two year-old "NO's" are really endearing and sometimes very exhausting, but what comes along with the endless stream of "NO's!!!" is magical beyond words. Sharing (a lot of) my food with him, letting him sit on my stomach while I try to lay on the couch, a daily exploration of my "Boo Boo's" (cuts on my arms and legs), joyful laughter, and miraculous - spectacular cuddles... and - Jesus Fucking Christ - a tidal wave of cuteness.. 
 
If a toddler comes, carrying a suitcase full of NO!, to live with you, I wish for you to relish the wonder and mystery of living with a tiny, adorable, super-villain.. 
 
 
 
~
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Repair

 

Gloucester Fish Pier 


"Net Splice - Gloucester Fish Pier"

Canon G7x Mark II
Lightroom

 

~
 

 

 

Daisies

 

 

Danvers Community Gardens 
 
 
"Danvers Community Gardens"

Canon G7x Mark II
Lightroom
Brushstroke Pro



~
 
 
 

Sunday, June 29, 2025

The Ache

 

Rocky Neck 


"Bound"
Nikon D800
Lightroom



The Ache

When we feel pained or drained by the ugliness in the world,
It is because we are mourning.
We mourn for our love of what the world could be,
 For a place that isn’t here, but should be.

 That pain is the overwhelming goodness in you hungering for an echo of itself.
 What is. What was. What could be.

 It is a terrible mark of honor to mourn.
 It means we have the courage to love
 in an imperfect, impermanent world.

 It means we sided with difficult tenderness
 over numbing indifference.
 
~ Jarod K. Anderson ~
 
 
 
~
 
 
 
 

Sunday, June 15, 2025

The Real Reason

 

ATX 

 

"Or Not..."
Canon G7x Mark II
Snapseed
Photomator



Pension Plan
 
I suspect people die
shortly after retirement,
not because they are aimless without a career,
but because they are too tired to process the
trauma of working away their best years,
for a chance to be old and reflecting on its
meaninglessness.
 
~ Joshua Turek ~
 
 
 
~
 
 
 

Friday, June 13, 2025

Send Me Dead Flowers


 

Flower 
 
 
"Peony"
Nikon D800
Nikkor 105.0mm Macro Lens
Lightroom
 
 
~
 
 
 
    

Unstoppable

 

Flower 

 

"Bud"

Nikon D800
Nikkor 105.0mm Macro Lens
Lightroom


Beauty and grace are relentless forces in this world. Despite all our best efforts to be ugly, selfish, miseries - beauty and grace erupt unbidden everywhere I look. 
 
 
 
~
 
 
 

Friday, May 30, 2025

God Told Me To...

 

God Told Me To...


"Feel That God Called Me..."

Canon G7x Mark II
Snapseed
Brushstroke
Hipstamatic


You hear it all the time out of the mouths of delusionals... "God told me to do X" or "I felt like God called me to do X"

If I didn't have an incredibly stout constitution, I'd puke every fucking time I heard those sentiments.. 

All (ALL) those words do is, at once, lend legitimacy to whatever the delusional is up to when talking about it to other delusionals all the while loosening the bonds of responsibility from the conscience of the delusional (because - well fuck - the creator of the universe just told me to do whatever). 

Pretty neatly sewn up little package, that.

Wish I could do it.. 



~



Tuesday, May 27, 2025

Offered Only at a Price I Cannot Afford to Give...

 

None of this matters<


"None Of This Matters"



“Responsibility to yourself means refusing to let others do your thinking, talking, and naming for you; it means learning to respect and use your own brains and instincts; hence, grappling with hard work. It means that you do not treat your body as a commodity with which to purchase superficial intimacy or economic security; for our bodies to be treated as objects, our minds are in mortal danger. It means insisting that those to whom you give your friendship and love are able to respect your mind. It means being able to say, with Charlotte Brönte’s Jane Eyre: “I have an inward treasure born with me, which can keep me alive if all the extraneous delights should be withheld or offered only at a price I cannot afford to give.””

~ Adrienne Rich ~


~



Monday, May 26, 2025

I Shatter

 

Ripples 

"Bound"

Canon G7x Mark II
Photomator
Snapseed






“I don’t know what living a balanced life feels like. When I am sad, I don’t cry, I pour. When I am happy, I don’t smile, I glow. When I am angry, I don’t yell, I burn. The good thing about feeling in extremes, is when I love, I give them wings. But perhaps that isn’t such a good thing, cause they always tend to leave and you should see me, when my heart is broken. I don’t grieve, I shatter.”

~ Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey ~




~




Saturday, May 24, 2025

Cover Up

 

Halibut Point


"I Think About You All The Time - Especially When I Want Something From You"

Canon G7x Mark II
Glaze App
Brushstroke Pro
Snapseed




Out of the blue - I got a text from a person that has not once contacted me in years. They said that they thought about me all the time - AND - by the way - could I photograph an event that they were a part of - for no money - BUT - it would be "a great experience" and a "chance to reconnect."

As it happened I was in the forced-birth state of Gilead so I couldn't help them out. I did suggest another (much better) photographer that likes to shoot such events.. I even googled the contact information for the photographer because apparently the person asking didn't know how to do that.. 

Then - instead of just saying thank-you and toddling off, they started with "Oh - I really would like to see you - why don't you come over for dinner?"

Christ on a bicycle.. 

I just ignored the bullshit and eventually they got the hint and dropped it.. 

In years past - I would have gone running to that invitation despite the fact that the invitation was only extended to cover the fact that they were just contacting me to do something for them.. 

The Power of No is still strong...




~




Friday, May 23, 2025

Assumed weird

 


Addison Gallery of American Art


"Addison Gallery of American Art"

Nikon D90
Lensbaby Double Glass Optic
Lightroom




“Quiet people always know more than they seem. Although very normal, their inner world is by default fronted mysterious and therefore assumed weird. Never underestimate the social awareness and sense of reality in a quiet person; they are some of the most observant, absorbent persons of all.” 


~ Criss Jami, Healology ~



~




The Possibility of Overcoming

 

Addison Gallery



"The Pondering of Existing Sorrows"

Canon G7x Mark II
Snapseed



“Melancholy, the pondering of existing sorrows, has nothing to do with a death wish. It is a form of resistance. And on an artistic level, its function is completely different than simply reactive or reactionary. When, with a fixed gaze, it goes over how things have happened, it is revealed that the motor functions of hopelessness and knowledge are identically executed. The description of misery involves the possibility of overcoming it.”

 ~ W.G. Sebald, Die Beschreibung des Unglücks, 1985 ~




~




Thursday, May 22, 2025

Things Just Are What They Are

 

Sitagu Buddhist Vihara



"Sitagu Buddhist Vihara Dhamma Hall"

Canon G7x Mark II 
Photomator



"All our problems are created by us. They come from our own desires.As soon as we’re not satisfied with this or that, we’re already suffering. And when we’re satisfied with this or that, we’re still suffering because once we’re satisfied, we’re afraid that it will leave us. When it really does leave, we’re suffering again.

Desire creates problems all on its own. Things just are what they are.They come and then they go. They arise and they cease. You’re the instigator: getting pleased with them, then not wanting them to go away. Or becoming displeased with them and then wanting them to go away faster! When they don’t, you get upset. So, calm down. Whatever it is that you don’t like will go away some day soon anyway. And whatever you like will also go away all the same. You have to keep your mind neutral and you’ll be peaceful."

Ajaan Suchart Abhijato - via Tricycle Magazine



~



You Cannot Outrun Pain

 

Dharmachakra Mudra 


"Dharmachakra Mudra"

Canon G7x Mark II
Photomator
Snapseed



"Many young people come here from your country. I think because, maybe, spiritual malaise. Lost connection with nature, with the family. Lost connection with the spirit. What is left? 

The self.

Identity.

Chasing money, pleasure.

Everyone runs from pain towards the pleasure.

But - when they get there, only to find more pain.

You cannot outrun pain." 

Buddhist Abbot - "The White Lotus - Season 3 Episode 6"



~




Tuesday, May 20, 2025

Silence

 

Sitagu Buddhist Vhara


"Sitagu Buddhist Vihara"

Canon G7x Mark II
Photomator
Snapseed




There is a Buddhist Monastery (Burmese) 12 miles from where I am in Gilead. It has a huge golden stupa with beautiful Buddhas from all different lineages inside. More importantly, they have meditation sessions open to the public on Sunday nights from 7:00-8:00pm. 

So - I decided to go last Sunday. 

There was a small group in attendance - four lay people and five monks. The session started with the sounding of the gongs outside the Dhamma hall. Monks filed in and took their seats facing the graceful seated Buddha at the front of the room. 

The Abbot struck a small bell and a short period of Burmese chanting began. Once ended - the room fell to absolute silence for an hour, with only the hum of the A/C unit to occasionally intrude on the quiet. There was no burbling from the meditation leader, no need for him to make sure, by constantly breaking the silence with little nuggets that served to remind everyone that he was the teacher as I've seen in so many instances in western meditation halls. 

Just. 

Silence.

Silence and the roaring chaos in my head. 

I almost didn't attend the session since I've been in so much physical pain with my feet (and psychic pain in my head), but I decided to roll the dice and try to make it through. I'm glad I did.

Best of all - there was no dreadful question and answer session or "conversation about meditation" afterwards. After the closing bell stopped ringing, the monks filed out and then all us lay people put our mats and chairs back where they belonged and wordlessly filed out. 

What a blessing.



~


Monday, May 5, 2025

Habemus Papum

 


 

AI-Generated Vision Of The Near-Future

 

It's darling to see Christians tripping over their
outrage because of Donnie's cute Pope Pic.
As if he would be any worse than
what has come before...

And anyway - 
they all wanted him,
and they got him,
warts and all.

 Habemus Papem.

 

 

~