"Toppled"
Canon G7x Mark II
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[Disclaimer] - This post is about body mass and failure which may not be interesting for all readers. Feel free to skip. Since quitting smoking in 1989, I've substituted food for nicotine. Now, it's not like I looked around and said "Hmm... I wonder what I can use in place of cigarettes?" No. It "just happened." In the ensuing decades my weight went up and down (depending on whether or not I was "dieting"), but the overall trend was up. I peaked at 305 lbs just prior to hip replacement surgery in 2010. Since then I've been able to (mostly) maintain a body weight of 265 (some 40lbs below the peak). During the entire three decades and change since 1989, when I wasn't "dieting" I would engage in daily lessons of failure and deep humility. It went like this: Get up in the morning. Say to myself "Today is the day I will not use." Nighttime: Snack, snack, snack. So for most of the nearly 12,000 days between 1989 and today, I experienced failure. Daily failure. What else can one be in the face of such prodigious failure if not humble? And - I am - deeply humbled by the mountain of failures I've amassed. This lifetime of failure has brought me inexorably close to being diabetic. The deal now is that if I cannot reduce my body mass and exercise more, the rest of my days will be spent subsidizing some Pharma exec's summer home with my insulin payments. My Doc (the one who swears - and I love him for it), has me doing a 16:8 intermittent fasting regimen with drastically reduced carb intake (50 grams or less per day). Basically it means I just have black coffee for breakfast and I stop eating by 7:00PM at the latest. I also exercise every day. He wants me to do weight-bearing work, but deadlifts and squats don't mix with fake hips. The results so far have been promising, but they always are at the start. The one good thing is that for now, I am experiencing days of not failing - satisfying if somewhat disorienting.. ~ |
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