Fat update - 65

 

 

 

"Sixty-five"

Canon G7x Mark II
Snapseed

I'm down 65lbs now - to 199lbs. It's the first time in decades that my weight started with a "1." Well meaning slenders offer praise and sunny life prognoses. "You're doing great! You've really extended your life!"    I do feel better. Movement of all sorts is much easier. Sleep is better. Physical pain and suffering is much lower than it used to be. As far as life extension goes though - I remain unconvinced. I could have already done so much damage to this body by decades of abusive eating that this weight-loss whoop-de-doo may mean next to nothing. I guess I'll see eventually. And anyway - ain't nothing guaranteed for nobody in this life - fatties and slimsters combined.. The Buddha knew this: The Buddha asked a Shramana [a seeker], "How long is the human life span?" He replied, "A few days. " The Buddha said, "You have not yet understood the Way." He asked another Shramana, "How long is the human life span?" The reply was, "The space of a meal." The Buddha said, "You have not yet understood the Way." He asked another Shramana, "How long is the human life span?" He replied, "The length of a single breath." The Buddha said, "Excellent. You have understood the Way. "   This major life change (losing 25% of my body mass in six months without surgery or drugs) comes with considerable emotional baggage which I've discussed before. Some days I just get so fucking angry for no apparent reason.  On the anger days there is a sense of an exposed, vulnerable,  rawness as uncountable, inconsiderate, air molecules bang into my body all day long. OK so - What I'm gonna say next may sound fucking corny, but it's the (mother)fucking truth. And I'm not putting this out there as a recommendation for any of you to do this. Figure things out for yourselves. Find your own way..    But anyway: The Dharma helps me.  The practice of noticing and letting go w/out judgement helps. More than just helps - it has gotten me to this point.. The practice of just watching the hunger monster shriek for more, more, more, more, more.. until he has shrieked himself out, has allowed me to not use...  The Dharma helps me with the slenders' sunny prognoses (which - I.M.O. - are just traps).. The Buddha said never to get caught up in praise or blame. The Buddha also came up with The Five Remembrances which completely squash the happy-bunny slenderisms like "You're going to live for a long time now!!"   The Five Remembrances 1. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. 2. I am of the nature to have ill-health. There is no way to escape having ill-health. 3. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. 4. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. 5. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. #FIDO         ~